08/22/2001
what is the big deal with guys? Like one of my ex boyfriends won't even talk to me in fact I've heard that he hates me. Now this confuses me. He is the one that dumped me why should he be mad. Well I guess he has a reason because he isn't the kind to hold a grudge for no reason. But still I don't know. And them my last boyfriend really screwed me up. He was how do I put this... Lets just say he made me feel like a goddess. I trusted him. But I was moving so I decided to end the relationship because we all know that long distance relationships dont work. Well know I hear from one of my really good friends that he is calling me a whore and that he is dating the only person on this earth that I truly hate. Now I have a hard time trusting guys. I don't know if he knows this be he hurt me bad. It felt like he ripped out my hart, showed it to me, and then ran over it with a semi truck. But I guess I have to just get over it but I'm having a really hard time doing it. Well that's enough of my mind for now. Thanks for listening bye.
If you have any comments don't be afraid to e-mail me just go to the contact me page for the address.


08/23/2001
well I guess I was wrong about my ex-boyfriend hating me. He just is acting like he hates me. Well my best friend just showed up. Say hi Tracy, "so Tracy in the house whats up everyone? Well have fun see ya!" Wow wasn't that nice... So yea. Still I don't get guys? Why are they so confusing? Anyways I'm gonna go. Peace out :)
P.S. I also met this guy online I'll let you know how it goes.
If you have any comments don't be afraid to e-mail me just go to the contact me page for the address.

08/24/2001
well today has totally sucked. My mom has been in a bad mood all day and hasn't let me do anything. I was going to go to the end of summer concert at woods tomorrow but know she won't let me. Instead I have to go to this stupid public speaking workshop. The guy who is teaching it is one of the most boring people to listen to I have ever heard. So instead of having fun with my friend on the last real day of summer for me I get to be cooped up inside with a dumbass telling me how to speak inforunt of people. If any of you know me you know I don't have a problem speaking my mind and getting my point across. And since on of my all time fav things to do is perform I'm not shy at all. I don't see why I have to go to the stupid workshop at all. Anyways about that guy I meet online last night, he seems to good to be true. Plus he doesnt even know I have a boyfriend. I don't think anything is going to happen so if you were wondering. Oh and another thing my boyfriend... I don't know how to tell him that I don't want to go back to school with a boyfriend. I mean I want to get used to the whole school thing first then I can think about having a boyfriend. Plus he doesn't really do anything for me. I think the most he could ever be is a friend. But I don't know how to tell him that. Well I have to go my BFF and I am going to chucky cheeses. I've never been so hopefully it will be fun. Peace out.
If you have any comments don't be afraid to e-mail me just go to the contact me page for the address.

08/25/2001
well today has been an other crapy day. The workshop sucked I didn't learn a thing. But on a funnier note Chucky cheeses rocks. I had so much fun. I don't know why everyone says it sucks I had a great time. My best friend and I got stuck in the sky tunnels. It was so funny. We got all kinds of prizes and we did have to use one ticket. Our friend who for this we will call "Marry" gave us all the prizes we wanted well not all just the little things. It was so cool. I think Tracy got a job there, she applied last night. The manager thought she was cool. So good luck Tracy. Um... lets see what else. Ever since I got home from that workshop thing all I have done is watch T.V. I really wish I were at woods right now. But my Mom won't let me go:(. So I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do for the rest of the night it is only 5:18 right now. Hopefully I'll be able to find out if the mall has the pants I want today. But Mom won't take me to get them until Monday. I just hope they have them if not I have no idea what I am going to ware to the first day of school. I want to make a good impression. I mean I haven't seen half these people for over a year. I don't think I've changed that much but I still want to make them have to take a second glance. Do you know what I mean? Well I hope you do if not then I'm just sounding stupid. Well I'm gonna go take a walk. So peace out.
It is now 8:51 and I'm still bored off my ass. I can't call anyone because all my friends are at the woods concert. I wish I were there so bad. But I know all my wishing isnt going to get me there. So yea I wonder if anyone really even reads this stuff. I bet no one does. It would be really cool if some one did read this stuff. And even cooler if they e-mailed me with advice. But I doubt that will ever happen. I wonder how many people even know that this we site even exists. Well I'm gonna go, like anyone even cares. Well peace out.
If you have any comments don't be afraid to e-mail me just go to the contact me page for the address.

08/26/2001
well today was a better day. I didn't do much but it didn't fight with my mom ether. So yea... school starts in 2 days and I can't wait. Hopefully tomorrow I'm going shopping to get the "first day of school" outfit. At least I kinda know what I want now. I want a pair of red dinkies and a white think strap tank top with cherries on it. The only thing is I don't know if I'm gonna be able to find what I want. I hope I do. Well I don't know what else to say so I'm gonna go. Peace out. And as always...
If you have any comments don't be afraid to e-mail me just go to the contact me page for the address.

08/27/2001
School starts tomorrow. I can't wait. I didn't find "the" outfit but I found an outfit to ware. It is a pair of jeans, a red tank top with a black rose pin on it, black boots, a red and black wristband, and a few more accessories. It should be cute. Well I just thought I'd let you now that. Anyways today was an all in all good day. I want shopping with my brother and his girlfriend. His girlfriend is cool her name is Danna. So yea the dont think I got today was a pair of shoes (they were only like 9 dollars). But still it was a good day. Rite now I have hair die in my hair. It's a reddish orange color. I've had it before. SO yea tomorrow is school. The closer it gets the more nervous I get. I hope well I don't know what I hope. The only thing that sucks about school starting is that my 6 am bible study stars too. So I have to get up at 5am instead of 6am. But I'm used to it so I'll be ok. Well I have to wash my hair die out so I'll be back to write more in a little wile. Bye Ok I'm back I like the color it turned out to be. Its not as orange as I though it would be but that's a good thing. Well I'm gonna go get ready for bed and see if I can get to sleep before 10:30. Peace out

08/28/2001
today was the first day of school. All in all it was ok. I don't think I impressed anyone. But Oh well. I don't think anyone really even noticed me. I have a semi good schedule. I have two classes with Tracy (my BFF) and two classes with Morgan my other best friend. So those classes should be fun. Well I don't really have anything else to say so I'm gonna go. Peace out

08/29/2001
today was a fun day. My BFF skipped and went to lunch with me. So I had someone to talk to at lunch. And today I wore one of my fav. Outfits and that always makes me feel better. It's all pink well not all pink but a lot of pink. I got a lot of compliments on how I look good in pink. I also found out that this guy likes me. I havent decided if it's a good thing or a bad thing yet. I mean he is cute and all but I don't know. That's about all I had to say so I'm gonna go. Peace out.

08/30/2001
today has been a weird day. It's been good and bad. The good things were we had shortened classes after 3erd period, I got to see my ex boyfriend Kevin, and I found out we are doing a fun musical this spring. The bad things were my geometry teacher yelled me at, we had a shortened lunch, and I keep having this weird dream. Now to explain... We had shortened classes after 3erd period today because the ac was broke and the cafe. Wall were "sweating" and they couldn't keep it moped up enough. OK I got to see my ex boyfriend Kevin... I was going out with Kevin when I moved to California and I really liked him so it was cool to see him again. Oh yea the musical thing. We are doing Cinderella. The one with Brandy in it. It is going to be so cool. I hope I get the lead. I've always wanted to play Cinderella and in this one she had fun songs. Now the bad things... My geometry teacher yelled at me for sitting in the back of the classroom and then asking why it matters where I sit. He was being a dick today. The shortened lunch thing explains it's self. And the dream thing, it's way weird. I've had this dream twice so far. Once last night and than again when I feel asleep this afternoon. OK let me tell you about it. Ok there is this guy that know for this I will call him "Bob". Well he likes me. Now to the dream... I see him after my 4th period class. This is were the dream started, I walked out of my classroom and grabbed him. I put my hands over his eyes and said " Guess who" and he said in returns: I don't know but if you don't take your hands off my eyes I'll kiss you'. So of course I took my hand off his eyes. Then I asked ' is that a promise or a threat"? Than he said " It means whatever you want it to mean". Then e walked down to lunch together and we just talking. He was talking and out of no ware I say "Weird", he said "what?" the I replied, " I just has a strange urge to kiss you. But anyways what were you saying?" He kinda stood there for a sec. and then started again. Well then the bell rang and we got up and started walking to class. He was in front of me and I ran up to him, put my hands over his eyes and said, "Guess who". Then I woke up. See isn't that weird. I wonder what that means. Well I have to go. Peace out.

08/31/2001
Well since it's late I'll just give you a quick over look on what happened today. Ok school was school nothing really neat happened. My mom started work today (she likes it :) ).
Umm... I had the dream again, so now I've had the dream 3 times. I didnt get to go to the concert I wanted to go to tonight. My mom didn't think it was a good idea :(. I got a cool backpack for $6 at K-mart. And that's about it. Tomorrow will be longer I promise. Well Peace out.

09/01/01
Sorry I didnt write anything today I was busy cleaning. Peace out.

09/02/01
well again I'm sorry I didn't write anything yesterday. But lets talk about today. Today has been fun; Tracy spent the night so I had someone to talk to. I haven't really done much so far. But I have watched 3 movies so far today.Um.. I don't really know what else to say/. Tomorrow there is no school!!! I have no idea what I am going to do though. Most likely I'll just do homework. Well I know that theses entries have become really short but there isn't anything interesting to talk about. So I'm gonna go. Peace out.

09/03/01
today I had no school. So I got to sleep in late. All I did today was go a see a movie with my mom and dad. We saw Sreck.It's a good movie. Well I have to go do some homework. So peace out.

09/04/01
today was fun. I didnt get hardly any homework. And I realized that I like this guy in my chem. class. I won't say his name because well because I don't want to. Anyways when I got home I found out that my next-door neighbor got a hamster. It is so cute, she names it Tinker bell. It is gray and white. I also went shopping and got 2 pairs of jeans. I like them a lot. Well I was going to make this a longer one for me but I have to go do homework so peace out.

*09/07/01*
Sorry I haven't written in this for a couple of days. My computer has been stupid and hasn't been working. Well anyways the guy I like... well his name is Dan. I have lunch and chem. with him. He is gothic. So yea just thought I'd let you all know. Well I'm gonna go I'll be back later. Peace out.
Well I'm back. You will never guess what just happened. Dan just asked me out and I said yes. But then my cable hook up gave out and kicked me off line. And of course when I got back on he was off. His dad made him get off line.:(. But I still can't stop smiling :). I can't believe he asked me out. OMG. Just one more thing that would make this the perfect day is if my mom would let me go to the concert tonight. I think she might let me well at least I hope she lets me go. Well I'm gonna go ask if I can go. So Peace out.:) :) :)
Today rocks. My mom is letting me go to the concert. I'm so happy. I can't believe this. Yesterday was such a Shiite day and today everything has gone right. Weird but not bad not bad at all. Im going to have so much fun tonight. I can't wait.8 o'clock seems like it will never come. This is just so cool. I can't even express how happy I am right now. I can't stop smiling. This is so weird. I don't think I've ever been this happy. Well maybe when I found out I was moving back to Maryland. But I don't think I was this happy. Today rocks. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :). Well I'm gonna go before I make everyone sick with my happiness. Peace out.:)

09/08/01
today was so nice. I didn't do all that much. It was just a nice relaxing day. Most of the time I just lied in bed and relaxed. It was so nice. So yea not much to talk about. O yea last night was so much fun. Well yea I'm gonna go. Peace out.

09/09/01
Today was ok I guess. If being sick is ok. I hate being sick. It sucks. Well anyways tomorrow is picture day at school. I can't wait... yea right I hate school pictures. School pictures always look like shit. Especially mine. Well yea I'm gonna go. Peace out

09/10/01
today was weird. So many things went through my mind. It was weird. I thought about things I haven't thought about in years. I thought about my friends and family, my dreams and how if I follow them there is no guarantee anything will come from them. I mean tons of people dream of being famous some day and it hardly ever happens. How am I any different than all the rest who have failed? I don't know. I guess I'm just not having a "happy" day. I wish I could just go to sleep one day and wake up and have everything. But you and I both know that is never going to happen. Maybe I should just forget about my dreams and stick to reality. I just don't know. Nothing is making sense to me any more. I have such a headache right now. I can't even see strait. Probably from thinking so hard. I tried to listen to music to clear my head earlier. But it didn't work. Every song I heard made me cry. It ether brought back a sad memory or mad me think of someone. Or it made me think of how I'm never going to be on a radio or on TV or anything. But anyways. See I still can stop thinking about how my dreams are just stupid hopes thats are unreachable. Well I'm gonna go I'm sure you don't enjoy listening to me wine so yea. Peace out.

09/11/20001
what happened today has left me totally and completely speechless. I have no idea what to say. To all the people who have family who are missing injured, or who have died my hart goes out to you. I know there isnt really anything I can say to make it better, but I dont know. Its just wow. I never imagined something like this could happen to America. I had no idea how bad it was until I came home from school and saw the news. I am completely shocked. All I can say is Im sorry and wow. So yea Im gonna go. Bye and God bless.

09/13/01
Sorry I didn't write anything yesterday. I can't be long I have to go some ware at 7. So yea. Dan if you read this I called and no one answered the phone. So yea I MISS YOU A LOT. I realized something today. It's kinda weird, scary, fun, and cool all in one. Well anyways I gotta go. Dan I'll see you tomorrow. I miss you. Peace out

09/14/01
Just for now. Dan I love you.

09/15/01
lets see today. Right now I have a lot on my mind. I don't even know where to start. I know no one is gonna reply to anything I write in this so yea. I'm just gonna spit out whatever comes to mind. Right now the main thing that is on my mind is Dan (my boyfriend). It's so weird the way he makes me feel inside. I've never felt like this before. Every time I see him my knees get week and well he just takes my breath away. Whenever anyone says his name I get butterflies and I just get all... all I don't know. Today I went to the mall with Tracy and Dan. It was a lot of fun. We sat in the middle of the mall where all the kids play and I couldn't help myself from just "staring" at Dan. He says it a condescending look but it's just that I can't believe he is real. Have any of you ever heard that song "every ware"? Well in it says something to the effect of sometimes I can't believe your real". Well when I see Dan it's not sometimes its all the time. When I look at him I know he can see me. Not the person everyone else sees. I mean like he sees who I am now and who I'm capable of being. It's just so amassing. Just thinking about him right now is making me all warm inside. When he touches me... I can't even explain what I feel inside. Its like... I don't know what it's like I've never felt anything like it before. I guess I just can't believe out of all the girls he could get he chose me. I mean I'm not all that great. I'm just in shock. Well I think I've said enough so I'm gonna go. Peace out.

09/16/01
Today... Well today sucks. I don't know why but Im not in a good mood. I feel eating olives. If you know me you know what that means. But anyways. My mom has just been a big shit lately. She seems to get mad for no reason. And whenever shes mad it seems like I'm the only one around and she always ends up yelling at me. It just sucks. You know that old saying if momma an't happy an't no body happy. Boy is that true. It sucks. Well anyways I got a lot done today. I made a list of things I needed to do today while I was in church. Yes I go to church EVERY Sunday. But anyways there were like 13 things on the list and I finished every single one. So I guess that's a good thing. About the only good thing that has happened today. Well I really don't feel much like talking so I'm gonna go. Bye

09/17/01
today has been good. Right now I'm really hyper. I feel like dancing. I don't know what to say...I'm just so hyper right now. Well yea I'm gonna go. I just can't stand to sit down anymore. Peace out.

09/18/01
Happy Birthday Katie M. Today was ok. Earlier on the phone my boyfriend told me that Im not very affectionate. I guess he is right. It just that well with Kris and all He has made me keep my guard up. I know I can trust Dan well wait I knew I could trust Kris. So I guess I think I can trust Dan. I hope I can trust Dan. But I don't know I fell about what he said. I mean there is no way I'm gonna let myself be hurt like that again. Kris hurt me deeply and bad. I mean I totally trusted him and well it bit me in the ass. And it's not just with guys it's with everyone. I have to question myself when I meet a new person. I doubt my judgment of people now. This all happened when I lived in California. My so-called friends stabbed me in the back. I didn't think it would affect me this much but I guess I was wrong. I feel stupid about it. I don't like it. I don't like to think so hard about making friends. It sucks. Well just to let you know Dan I care about you a lot. Even if I don't act like it. I do love you. Oh yea my grandparents showed up today. Yea!!! (Yea right) now I get to spend 3 weeks hearing the critics my friends, my boyfriend and me. It is going to suck. It's already started. I hate it. Well I'm gonna go. Peace out.

09/19/01
a quick overview of today... lets see. I still feel like crap. I slept most of the day. My head hurts so bad I can hardly see. But I did get Katie a birthday present. So yea that's about it. I don't feel good so I'm gonna go. Peace out. Oh and Dan I love you.

9/20/01
Happy birthday Amy. Well anyways. I'm getting sick :(. I hate being sick. So yea, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I've been sleeping so much lately. It's weird. Well I don't know what else to say so I'm gonna go. I love you Dan. Peace out

09/23/01
Happy birthday Katie H. I'm sorry I havent written anything for the past few days. Nothing much has happened. So yea. Yesterday I stayed home all day by my self. It sucked. I had nothing to do but clean. Well anyways... Yea I have no idea what to say. So I'm gonna go. I might come back and write more later tonight. So peace out. I'm back. It was kinda scary, my mom just looked at my web site. She yells at me for having the word ass on my web site. Well anyways my best friend talked to my boyfriend for 3 hours today and she won't tell me what she talked about. I'm tiring to call Dan but no one is answering the phone. This sucks. Well I'm drawling a blank so I'm gonna go. Peace out.

09/24/01
I hate school. It just seems like I try and try but don't get anything out of it. It sucks. Well anyways I found out that my brother is moving out the end of October. So I get the room I want. It is cool. It has a balcony, a huge closet it's the size of a small room, and it has carpet. I hate having wood floors in my room. So yea... I kinda waiting for Dan to get online but he hasn't got on yet. And I have to go my dad needs the comp. So bye.

09/24/01
today has sucked. Well come to think of it the past few weeks have sucked. A lot of crap has happened. I dont know why but every school Ive gone to lately Ive been labeled as a lesbian. Now there is a rumor going around that I did something with my friend Rebecca. Why does stuff like this always happen to me? I feel like Chandler Bing (from friends). I dont get it. And Im having problems with my boyfriend. He thinks Im not affectionate enough. He told my best friend in a note that I dont act like I like him, that I only say I do and it bothers him. I dont know what to do. Maybe Im just well I dont know. When I get around a guy I like I freeze up. Showing how I feel about a guy is hard for me. I guess it makes me feel week or something. Kinda like a dear in headlights sorta thing. I dont know how to explain. Its just confusing. I think I need to talk to someone about some of the stuff thats been going through my mind lately. Everything in my mind is so mixed up lately. I cant make since of anything. Im not even motivated any more. Ive lost interest in a lot of things. For example I didnt try out for the fall play. Normally I would be the first person at the audition. But now its different. I dont feel like trying anymore. My grades are dropping and Im not worried about the way I look as much anymore. Which is weird because I normally spend at least an hour trying to find something to ware. Now I just roll out of bed and throw on whatever smells clean. Ive stopped eating. Well not completely but Ive cut down a lot. In the past 3 weeks Ive lost 10 pounds. Now Im only 100 pounds. I was under wait at 110 pounds. Ive had weird mood swings two. One minute I can be laughing my butt off and the next Im crying like a baby. Something is defiantly wrong with me. Like right now Im crying and just maybe 5 minutes ago I was laughing on the phone with Tracy. Its weird and its pissing me off. What makes it worse I feel like I have to act like noting is wrong. If I act how I feel Im afraid I dont know what Im afraid of. Maybe Im afraid of what people will think. I just dont know. Im so confused. I dont know what to do. I hate this. Well Im gonna go. I know who ever you are you are tired of hearing my whining. So yea bye. O yea people keep telling my boyfriend that Im a psycho and I dont know. I cant wait until Im out of high school. Then I can move and start a new life. Where no one will know about my past and I can be who ever I want to be. I dont even know who I want to be anymore. Im so confused. Why why why why why does life have to be so difficult? What did I do to deserve this? I just dont get it. I dont get a lot of things lately. I just feel like curling up in a ball and hiding. Where no one can find me. I need a whole. Maybe than I can figure some things out. I dont know. God this sucks. *Screams*. Well Im gonna go for real now. Bye.

09/25/01
I don't really have much to say. I think I said enough yesterday. So yea today I got my permit. And that's about it. So yea I'm gonna go. Dan I love you. Bye

09/26/01
I can't really write that much right now. Because my dad wants be to get of the comp. SO yea I went to this poetry slam thing today and it rocked. I'll tell more about it tomorrow. So yea. I have to go. Hopefully I'll write more tomorrow. Peace out.

09/29/01
Sorry I haven't written in a while. My computer has been broken. So yea right now Im at my dad's office talking to Gilbert from Life House. The show rocked. We got some posters signed. Now we are just waiting for my dad to get off of work. Its kinda fun. So yea I'm having a lot of fun. So yea I rock. LaLaLaLa. So yea anyways last night was so much fun. I hade a lot of fun if you know what I mean. I got to go on stage with mister Underhill. It was cool. My friend Kelli sang a few songs with them. I know this isn't very long but I don't really know what to say. This weekend had been one of the best weekends of my life. I love my boyfriend and Life House and The Calling rock. I'm just speechless. I just thought about this. How cool would it be if the lead singer of Life House signed my guest book. I would freak. So yea I'm gonna go. Bye Bye. Peace out.

10/01/01
Yea my computer works now. So yea I'm so confused. I have not idea what to do about... well about stuff. I hate school. I'm working my ass off and Im still failing. I just don't know what to do. Well yea I don't know what to say so Im gonna go. Peace out

10/04/01
I'm really starting to slack on my journals. Well I've been busy lately so hopefully I'll get some time soon. So yea Dan thanks for writing in your journal. I love you so much. Well I have a shit load of homework so I'm gonna go. Peace out.

10/06/01
Yesterday I went to a Tool concert. It was cool. I got to hang out in a skybox. It was fun. I got invited to go to the Brittany Spears concert. They are going to try and egg her. I'm just going to hang out on the floor. I hear she puts on a really good show. She gets in to theatrical stuff. It should be cool. But yea... I have a lot of time to work on my web site tonight but I have no idea what to do with it. Oh on Sunday I've been going out with Dan for a month. But what sucks about that is I don't get to see him until Monday :(. This sucks I want to see him so bad. Lalalalalalala I don't know what to say. So yea I'm gonna go. Peace out

10/07/01
Well today I've been going out with Dan for a month. I think he is mad at me. I called him today and he was acting all weird. I don't know, I hope he isn't. But anyways... I feel like shit I thought I broke my finger but thank god I didn't it just hurts like hell. It's all swollen and stuff. So yea I don't know what to say. I really can't wait to see Dan. I love him so much. Well I'm gonna go. Peace out

10/08/01
Well I don't really know what to say. And I have no idea how to put my feelings in words. But I'll just let you know that I'm crying right now. Well yea bye.

10/09/01
Today has been great. I feel so light. I finally got all the stuff that was bothering me off my chest. I told Dan about how the "butterflies" were gone. Yes I did I said were. Today at lunch he did this really cool dipping kissing thingie. It was... wow. It took my breath away. So yea I really all happy and stuff. It's so nice. Dan I love you.Tracy just a little note. Thank you for being there for me yesterday. It ment more to me than you know. I love you Tracy (dearly not dearly. lol) So yea anyways. I've done a lot of stuff on my site lately. Oh and Dylan thank you for sighing my guest book. Lalalalalalala. So yea I really miss being able to perform in front of people. I wish I were in a band or something. But oh well I don't think that is going to happen. THE BUTTERFLIES ARE BACK YEA!!!!!!!!. Ok I had to do that sorry. Well now that I feel like a total dork I'm gonna go. Peace out.

10/10/01
Today has sucked. Sucked big time. OMG I'm still so mad. I don't know what to say because if I say what I want to say I'll...feel bad or people will have their feeling hurt. So yea I'm not going to say anything. So yea Bye. Oh just to let out know I wrote a lot in my guest book. So if you want to read it have fun. O yea SIGN it 2.

10/11/01
Well a month ago today we were attacked by the terrorists. SO yea just thought I'd say that. I don't really know what to say. I had a better day. And that's about it. So yea peace out.

10/13/01
Well today has been ok so far. I had fun last night. But I think I had the most fun after everyone left. Well not everyone was gone but most of the people I normally hang out with. But yea... I don't know what else to say. So I'm gonna go. Peace out.

10/16/01
Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been kinda busy. Well for those of you who don't know Dan and I broke-up:(. It's for the better though. And we are still friend, which is really cool. Anyways if you're wondering no I don't like anyone else at this moment of time. But my BBF tells me that I'll have a boyfriend by this time next week. I don't think this even close to being true. But if it happens whatever. Well homecoming is next Saturday. I think it is going to be fun. I'm going with my friend Rory (I think I spelt that wrong). Yea so... I even made part of my dress. I like it a lot. I just have to find a top to go with it. I think it will be easy to find one so it's shouldn't be a problem. Well I hope anyways. I can't wait till Friday. I'm going to a concert and everyone is going to be dressing up. It's like a Halloween show. I'm going as an angel (I'm a Hybred angel). It's going to be fun and stupid all in one. I hope a lot of my friends show up. That would make it all that more fun. Well anyways. I have to go help my mom cook. So yea bye.

10/18/01
Ok lets see. I wonder if Dan even goes to my site anymore. I doubt he does. But anyways to my real journal entry. 3 words have been running through my mind all day "I miss Dan". I miss hugging him, I miss the way he used to look at me, I miss his kiss. I just miss him altogether. But I blew it. I guess its for the better. Even though it sucks. But O well. Ill get over it. I dont even know if I would go back out with him. Im just confused. Anyways I found a top for homecoming. Its velvet. I like it go perfectly with the skirt I made. It kind makes me look like a Victorian gipsy. Tracy has a beautiful dress. I love it. She looks so good in it 2. Well yea I have no idea what else to say. So Im gonna go. Peace out

10/20/01
Last night was horrid. Dan was there and every time I looked at him I realize what I've lost. I'm such a retard. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? I don't know what else to say about that so next subject... I went to the ren fest today. It was fun. I got these cool horns I love them. I almost got this cool little "vestie" thing, but my brother didn't like it and he had all the money.May-be next year. Well I have to and help my mom cook. Oh and one last thing... Dan I miss you... a lot. Bye

10/21/01
Today has been an ok day. I don't really know what to say. Umm tomorrow is pajamas day at my school. I'm gonna bring a stuffed monkey. It's cool it's got safety pins all over it. Well yea like I said I don't know what to say so Im gonna go. Peace out. Dan I Love You!!!

10/22/01
Today has been a good day. Well other that right now when I really, really don't feel good. But I won't go in to details of why I don't feel good. Anyways... Dan and I are back together and I am so happy about it. I don't know why we ever broke up in the first place. So yea. I'm gonna go lye down. Peace out. Dan I Love You.

10/25/01
Sup. I can't wait till tomorrow. I'm in the homecoming parade. It should be fun. Well anyways this week had been good. I'm so happy that Dan and I got back together. Lalalala I don't know what else to say. This weekend should be fun and I can't wait. Well that's about it. Love to all. Peace out.

10/27/01
Yesterday was so much fun. I was in the homecoming parade and all my friends that were down town to watch just hopped on our float. It was fun. Than last night around 8 I went to a concert. It was so much fun. I didn't really pay that much attention to the bands though. Dan and I just talked and stuff all night long. It was cool. Dan I really should bite you more often. Dan I just want to you know that I am so happy we got back together. You have no ides. Well I'm gonna go shower. So bye bye. I love you Dan.

10/28/01
Homecoming sucked. I really really wanted Dan to be there. I kept looking at the door hoping that Dan would walk thought the door. And I am stupid for doing that because I knew he wasn't going to come. My friends kept yelling at me. But anyways I'm gonna go.Bye Bye. Dan I love you.

10/29/01
Today has been a day. It hasnt been a good day but it hasn't been a bad day. All I wanted to do today is cuddle up in a ball and relax. But the only person I got to cuddle with was Tracy and well... you know. I hope tomorrow will be a better day. Umm I start work on Thursday. It sounds like it will be fun. I hope it is. And well that's about it. O and Dan I love you more!!! hahaha bye bye.

10/30/01
Today was a better day, thank god. Anyways my mom left for Florida today so I get to spend the whole week with my dad. fun fun fun. Tomorrow is Halloween. I don't Im gonna do anything. I really want to get together with some friends but I doubt that will happen. I'll most likely just sit around on my ass and pass out candy :(. I have no life. But yea I don't know what else to say so Im gonna go. Dan I love you. You have no idea how much i love you. Well bye bye.

11/06/01
Sorry I haven't written in a while. Tripod has been down or something. Anyways Dan and I broke up again :(. I don't know what is up with us/him/me. It's way confusing. I don't really know what else to say. So Im gonna go bye bye.

11/7/01
Today was an ok day. I stayed after school to get some help in math. Than the rest on the time is spent it will my friends. Oh and one thing Dan... Never mind. Anyway I had to perform today. I think I did a really bad job but every one else said I did a good job. But that is the way it always goes. Well all except once. But let not get in to that. Lalalala I don't know what to say. Umm... this week is going by really slowly. My heart as been broken. Let see what else... I can't wait till Friday. Well I guess that about it. So Im gonna go bye bye

11/10/01
Today was a bla. I don't feel good. Anyways last night sucked. It was just like homecoming night. I just sat there staring at the door hoping that Dan would walk thought the door. And to make matters worse I knew he wasn't going to show up. It sucked I spent most of the night sitting in a corner crying. It sucked big time. But anyways It is so cold in my house it's no even funny. Well I really wanted this to be a long entry but I don't think it's going to be. Well yea I'm gonna go bye bye.

11/11/01
Today has been so busy. I've been working my butt off. For what seems like nothing. But anyways... yea. I have no idea. Balbalbal... I have no idea what to say. Nothing cool happened this weekend. In fact this weekend was dull as dull as dull can be. Friday night sucked, Saturday I felt like crap all day long, and today I've been to busy to notice how bad I feel. So yea what can I say I have no life. You all knew that so don't be surprised. Umm I dyed my hair yesterday. There is no big difference it's still red.Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. Ok that was just to take up space. Well I'm going to go. Because well you can see why. Bye.

12/4/01
I know I haven't written anything in a while but I don't have to tell you what's been going on right now. But Ill be back soon. Bye bye.

12/5/01
I have a lot of time to write right now but I can't see through my tears so this is going to be short. Umm this week has sucked and it only seems to be getting worse as it goes on. I want to die. Tryouts for the play are this week and so far I've bit the big one. But who knows maybe tomorrow I'll do a really good job and get a good part. I don't see why I wouldn't do a good job tomorrow but you never know. gonna go bye

12/6/01
I rocked today at my try-outs :) OK anyways I really hope I get a good part. *Cross my fingers* lol anyways. Lets so I guess not that much has happened since Ive written in this last. SO yea. I don't go out with Dan anymore...I like this new guy. Sorry Im not going to say his name. I have no idea what else to say...ok I'm gonna go bye bye.

12/7/01
I can't take this anymore. It seems like no matter what I do nothing goes right. I didn't get a call back like I was hoping for the play, I can't seem to get over Dan no matter how hard I try and I can't get anyone else to understand me. I just feel like dieing. It sucks. I'm so tired of failing everything and everyone. What am I doing wrong? Can anyone tell memo almost forgot Dan if you still read theses things I'm sorry about everything. I honestly am. OK now I don't know what to say... bla bla bla bla bla. Lets see I don't know if anyone who was at school today noticed that I was acting all weird. But if you did and asked me about it just to let you know I wasn't tired. I was doing all I could not to cry. As I said before I can't do anything right lately. No matter what it is. I don't even have enough energy to try anymore. Its like I put it all in to 2 or 3 things this week and I worked so hard on them they used up all my energy. And it's not like it even paid off. It didn't pay off at all. Not even in a littlest bit. I don't even have enough energy to move my stuff into my new room. Ive been meaning to move all week long. But anyways Im going to go. Bye to all or bye to myself.


12/08/01
Well I really don't have anything to say. So yea... I need a boyfriend. Well that's it bye.

12/09/01
I'll be 17 in one month!!!! Anyway I've decided that Im not going to date anyone from Annapolis high. I think it will help me to... well I don't know. Anyways that's it so yea bye.

12/10/01
I can now say honestly that I am completely and totally over Dan.YEA!!! Arent you proud of me? Anyways I am so in to this new guy I met at church. He is so hot and cute and sweet and funny and he smells so good. Lol Im a dork. So yea and he goes to my church so I can be a "good" girl around him and not feel stupid. Which rocks big time. Well it's getting late so I need to go. So yea bye.

12/16/01
I so like this guy named Josh. He goes to school with me. Now I know I said I wasn't going to go out with anyone at my school but well see what happens. Anyways I don't really know what else to say so Im gonna go. Bye.

12/18/01
SO yea today is Tuesday and we only have 3 more day of school until winter break. This week is going by kind of slow but not as slow as I thought it was going to. But anyways I really really really like this guy Josh. But everyone keeps telling me that is to weird for me ant that "girls just don't date him". Well I want to know why. He seems like a nice, sweet, funny, dependable guy. Well maybe he only seems that way to be but whatever. Well Im gong to go bye bye.

12/20/01
Only one more day left. I can't wait. The only thing Im dreading about this vacation is not being able to see Josh or some of my friends for 2 weeks. But I still can't wait. I wondering if I should call up this lady I work with and see if she will trade me shifts tomorrow. Im supposed to work from 6-9:30 but I really don't want to. So I want to see if she will let me work her shift, which is 2-6. But I don't know if she will trade. I hope she will. Anyways... I don't know what else to say. So Im gonna go bye bye.

12/28/01
I'm 35% evil (it's borderline)
I'm the duchess from Alice and wonderland (You're not a know-it-all, but you can never pass up an opportunity to needle someone when you're right and they're wrong. You're irritated because people tend to forget (or be ignorant of) who you are when you participate in things. You make others uncomfortable, and have no sense of personal space, ya looney.)
And Im Legolas Greenleaf from he Lord Of The Rings (you know the hot elf guy)
Anyways I hope all my friends had a better Christmas that I did. But hopefully my birthday will be better. I'll be 17 in 12 days!!! All right. Um I don't really know what else to say so Im just going to take stupid tests a post the results ok. So yea...
+Test #1: What's Your Ideal Guy Type?
There are all kinds of guys out there. And finding the right ones can be hard -- especially if you don't know what you're looking for in the first place. That's why we've whipped up this quiz -- to cut to the chase. So get ready to discover your dream dude -- and then go out and get him!
*Results: Funny-What's life without laughter? That should be your mantra. So naturally, the quality you appreciate most in a guy is a killer sense of humor. You're not into those quiet dudes -- you're looking for an outgoing guy who can be the class clown, the life of the party, and your own personal Conan O'Brien. You don't mind being outta the limelight, as long as you're constantly kept in stitches. We think that's cool -- for some girls the stand-up routine could get stale, but you seem to like a guy who's always on. Look for him at the school dance -- he'll be the one leading the Conga line
+Test #2:What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
Some girls are just perfect. They spend plenty of time with their BFs, but they let 'em go out with the guys every now and then, too. Then there are those girls who call their boos every morning before breakfast and demand they spend the night snoring to each other through their cellies. And then there are those girls who can't always exactly remember their BF's name. What kind of GF are you? Quiz yourself!
*Results: Perfect Patty-No one would ever mistake you for "just one of the guys," but you've got the perfect hangout habits when it comes to your BF. You know there's a whole lot more to life than dating. You expect to spend plenty of time together, but you also expect to spend plenty of time on your own (not to mention plenty of time with your crew), which means you've got the perfect balance for a healthy relationship. Youre a great girlfriend, so keep it up!
+Test #3:What Kind of Flirt Are You?
Everyone flirts, whether they admit to it or not. But not everyone goes about it in exactly the same way. Some girls crack jokes, some shake their stuff, some even hurl insults. What's your flirting style? Take le quiz!
*Results: Funny-Who says you have to bat your lashes or wear a tube top to make a guy take notice? You know that the fastest way to get a guys' attention -- and keep it -- is to make him laugh. One-liners, funny stories, and physical humor like imitating bodily function noises are your specialties, and you're a natural at it. In fact, you're so funny that half the time it's not even about flirting you're just being yourself, and whattya know, the guys are swarming. Just remember that there's good humor and cheap humor, and laughing at other people's expense can turn as many people off as it turns on.

12/30/01
Well today has been interesting. But anyways I can't wait for tomorrow night. The only thing is that I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to go to first night Annapolis but I don't have any money. But hopefully I will get paid tomorrow. Well I can hope at least. Anyways I took another stupid test. It said my new years resolution should be to seduce as many people as possible. Lol I thought it was kind of funny. But anyways I really hope I get a new years kiss tomorrow night but I don't think I will. Well what can I say no one likes me lately. And I personally can't blame them. That's all Im gonna go. Bye to all. And have a good new years.

01/03/02
That date looks strange. But anyways I had a crappie new years. I don't get a new years kiss (well I kinda did but it didn't count). And than I found out yesterday that if I just would have walked up to the guy I like (josh) would have giving me a kiss. When he told me I wanted to die. I felt so stupid but anyways. Yea I'll be 17 in 6 days. Cant wait. Lalalalalala I don't know what to say. Umm... I'm cold and I just woke up so Im all gross and stuff. Lol ok and delusional. And Tracy is purple. SO yea haw about them O's. DoDodododododododododododododododododo so happy together. OK I just broke in to song. I 'm a dork o wait and so is Tracy. Well Im gonna go before I start to scare people.
Bye bye.

01/07/02
Today has been the worst day ever. First of all it was the first day back after winter break and it was snowing. Then my best friend and I got in a fight. She spent all 6th period cracking on my religion. Or as she said she wasn't but then she should have said something the other people involved. Her sister was a better friend to me today than she was. I mean Tracy knows how important my religion is to mean and she didn't defend me at all. She just sat there. I wanted to hurt her. I mean I don't care if you say something about me but don't DONT crack on my religion. She also had the holier than thow attitude all day long. She was being a total bitch to me. That's about all for now. I'm going to try to get back on-line again tonight so Ill type more than. Bye.


01/09/02
Well today is my birthday. I'm 17 years old. It's not that great of an age but it's on year closer to 18. Anyways... so far the day hasn't been all that great but that doesn't mean it won't get better. So yea. I don't know what else to say so Im gonna go. O one more thing Happy birthday Winship. All right bye bye.